This was originally posted on Mixmag, but it was so good, we thought we’d share it in its entirety. How many times have we seen our favourite Dj do his trademark pose at a show? The last time Armin van Buuren was in Toronto, we counted 20+ times that he did his trademark Jesus pose. We stopped counting after 20, or rather, we lost count. Enjoy the list, you might recognize a few of them, if not all.
The kind of body language preferred by moody grime DJs trying to look nonchalant by constantly checking their phone in the time between clanging mixes together.
Examples: Darq E Freaker, Preditah
A state of intense concentration and pleasure reached by DJs who become locked into their selection on a very deep level, resulting in the inadvertent exhibition of their sex face.
Example: Seth Troxler
Similar to the bobber, but instead of leading with the shoulders this lot lead with the hips, adding a hint of sexual thrust to what is in fact just someone fiddling with a mixer.
Examples: Solomun, Shaun Reeves
The pose for DJs who want to assume an air of technicality while also showing they are locked into a groove. They bob to the beat while EQing in earnest.
Examples: Maceo Plex, Maya Jane Coles
Often occurs as the prelude to a full-on head-mosh when the tune drops. Habitual proponents risk displaying the contents of their nostrils to the crowd – not to mention whiplash.
Examples: Skrillex, Rusko
Adopted by DJs who get so into mixing that the top half of their body gravitates toward the mixer and they end up performing at a 90-degree angle as if suddenly struck by appendicitis.
Examples: Skream, Jackmaster
They twirl one hand in the air like they’re lassooing cattle while pretending to whistle and side-stepping like a square-dancing rodeo redneck. Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rawhide!
Examples: Davide Squillace, Luciano, Reboot
The ultimate pose favoured by many big-shots; with arms outstretched like Jesus on the cross these DJs probably lap up the crowd’s adoration while secretly thinking, “Yes, I am good”.
Examples: Armin van Buuren, Swedish House Mafia
Every turn of a knob or flick of a fader is a precise movement akin to an artist gently applying the finishing brush-strokes to a timeless masterpiece. Albeit with people shouting ‘Brap!’
Examples: Icicle, Rockwel
The standard pose adopted by many a mainstream millionaire – and those who aspire to be them. Far more acceptable in Ibizan superclubs than a half-empty Sheila’s Wine Bar in Swindon.
Examples: Guetta,Tiësto, Ferry Corsten
[Illustration: Elliot Thoburn]